Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Abstinence-Only "Education" or "How to pretend like you care about your kids, while not really caring at all."

Everyone has sex!
("Children" included)

Perhaps that should be clear enough for everyone to understand. If not you have severe problems and should get help immediately.

"What happens when people have sex mommy?" a bold child asks her mother.

How does she her mother reply? For those of you who believe in "ignore your hormones, don't have sex" style teaching I assume that this is what you would say. (I wish otherwise...so very very much.)

"My dear child, you do not need to worry your pretty little head about sex right now, you're far to0 young for it, just wait until marriage...and you'll see." she replies.

She doesn't want her daughter to have sex at all. She believes she has instilled upon her good [insert religion here] values. That her daughter will take to the grave. Surely she will listen to her mom and wait until marriage to have sex. Just like any other good daughter.

She would be wrong.

Very wrong.

Like most kids these days, they're having sex. LOTS OF SEX. Like, almost nympomaniac-type sex. Yes, it happens, more often than you think. Your children like sex. Everybody likes sex....everybody has sex.

And for the most part, everyone has babies too...when they have sex. LOTS OF BABIES.


Sex is awesome. Sex is also natural. Very natural. If your parents didn't have sex...you wouldn't be here. YES, YOUR PARENTS HAD SEX IN ORDER TO MAKE YOU. Think about that!

Am I yelling loud enough? I hope so.

I hope the people back in the Stone Ages can hear me.


Do I have to answer? Really? I have to? Okay, here goes... this can answered with one word and one ONLY. I don't need to define it but it would be a good idea.


Was that clear? Concise? Precise? In any way difficult to understand? God, I really hope not. But let's define it:

–noun the deliberate prevention of conception or impregnation by any of various drugs, techniques, or devices; birth control.

In short-- using something will likely -greatly- reduce the chance of baby-making to occur.

Contraception can involve just things like Birth Control items (be they pills, a shot, a ring etc) or just plain old CONDOMS. You know, the little plastic things you put on your partner's erect penis (if he's too lazy to do it himself).

It's not always 100% but it's better than nothing. (A.K.A. an uncovered/unwrapped PENIS plus not BC in sight! -- Hello new born baby, 9 months later!)

(btw, it's about 79%-99.9% effective depending upon the method used). (Conservative estimate...on the lower end...just for you guys)

Oh and Abstinence-only (IE. NOT HAVING SEX...HAHAHHAHA...yeah right) is not 100% effective.

Hello! Bible! Did you forget the "Virgin" Mary. I know I didn't. Immaculate Conception... XD uhm more like "Ejaculate Conception"...if you know what I mean....

/stops laughing sometime.

So that brings Abstinence-only's effectiveness to about 99.9%... can't help it if God did it!

No, really.

Are people that stupid?

.....oh, wait.....

So, for the people not raging. Let me sum it up for you. Just in case you didn't get it the first time.

Your children will have sex whether you like it or not. They will sneak behind your backs and be WILLFULLY "violated" multiple times and not necessarily by the same partner either o.O (oh snap).

Therefore, you can preach Abstinence all you want...but don't be surprised when your "precious little innocent angel" comes home with a very round stomach.

YOU DON'T ALWAYS GET PREGNANT, THOUGH...WHEN YOU HAVE SEX. (Without Contraception, of any kind... bareback as some might call it.)

That is true. But even if it's your first time... you can still get pregnant.

That is true meaning of sex... PROCREATION!

-If it wasn't so fun...tell me...would anyone "do it"?-

Also, if either one of you or both is/are sterile, no baby-making shall occur.
However, STDs like HIV, AIDS and other such nasty diseases can and DO occur. Have fun with that if you find out your "monogamous" partner has cheated on you... and didn't bother to use a CONDOM. "Owned" is a good term to use at this point, should such a situation occur.

Do everyone a favor... and CARE FOR YOUR CHILDREN!

Give them Birth Control pills, condoms oh and TEACH THEM ABOUT SEX GODDAMNIT!


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